My mother has besieged me with thoughts of Christmas.
I know. The horror.
I know that wherever you are right now you are mocking me. For those of you who know my mom, you can scarce believe your eyes. My mom has never really been one for holidays or decorating. As a child the Christmas traditions involved setting the tree up long after all my friends had set theirs up only to take it down the day after the beloved holiday had ended. And the only reason it remained up that long was because as our family grew my mom was outnumbered in the decision to clean up after the holiday so close to the holiday. But even now at my advanced age I still remember the glint in my moms eyes as we convinced her to leave the tree up till the 26th. It was the glint of someone agreeing to something completely and utterly against their will.
But memories aside. What do I mean by "my mother has besieged me with thoughts of Christmas"? Isn't Christmas a joyous holiday? Isn't it one of your favorites?
All true readers. All true.
And yet this year I have had so much Christmas HOMEWORK. That's right. My mom has been assigning me Christmas homework left and right. Make your wish list. (Last time I handed her a wish list this close to Halloween I was mocked mercilessly for five whole minutes . . . and another five minutes later when my dad got home from work.) Use your creative genius to figure out what ornaments we are going to make as a family this year. (Not so weird. I AM a genius. I believe the last post certified that point.) Find decorations for us to buy. (This one is truly the most blasphemous.)
None of these tasks has plagued me so much as her need for my wish list.
There are so few things I want now that I am an adult. A new car would be fantastic but that's hardly a reasonable item to put on a list.
A "get out of jail free" card for any or all of the big decisons looming over my future would be even better. But that's most definately not going to happen.
I have thought. And thought. And thought about this. And after hours and hours of pondering this rather difficult task, this is what I managed to come up with.
The overall presentation with the varying fonts and beautiful colors made for quite the aesthetic appeal. And yet this was the result of my hours of serious consideration.
Indeed, this lack-luster-list was so . . . well . . . lack-luster that I felt I had to make it even more aesthetically amazing.
Plus- my mom had wanted me to do this for the past few days. Having finally gotten around to it I felt it only deserved to be presented to her with all the love and snarkiness that are overabundant within me. So of course I made a cover page for it.
Using my epic computer skills and quite a few pieces of clipart- I created what will forever be known at least in this household as the most beautiful and well thought out wish list in the history of wish lists.
I would like to see my brothers try to top that!
Even if the list was shorter than my brother's buzz cut.
Anyway folks. That's all I have for you right now. Have a Happy Thanksgiving in a few weeks and Happier Holidays after that.
Bye!
This has been a Public Service Announcement. Hopefully YOU will have an easier time of writing a wish list than me.
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