If You Give the World a Quarantine

You know, world, nearly two months ago I posted about the joys of becoming a hermit . . . I didn't think you'd take me so seriously.



So . . . you're in quarantine. That is unfortunate. Especially for all you looney extraverts out there.

You know what's especially ironic?

I'm not.

That's right. Me, Madison, Queen of Self-Isolation on the best of days is one of the only people in my apartment not currently living my best life in the warm embrace of my locked bedroom. Nope. I work at a hospital so I will be one of the last people to get locked up this time around and I have such strongly mixed feelings about that.

On the one hand . . . I'm still employed. Yay! On the other hand, I'm still employed. Boo.

So what shall we do about this sudden turn of events?

Well, if you would all kindly help a girl out and reread the last post, I think we can come to an understanding.

You see . . .

If You Give the World a Quarantine, the world will want to leave the house anyway. But if you let the world leave the house anyway, you will find yourself in the middle of a pandemic. And if you find yourself in the middle of a pandemic, the poor introverted hospital workers such as myself will suddenly have to work a LOT more hours to take care of the influx of sick and inflicted. And if the poor introverted workers such as myself, suddenly have to work a LOT more hours to take care of the influx of sick and inflicted, we are put at more risk of getting sick ourselves. And if we get sick ourselves the world won't have to worry about the quarantine anymore because that will be the least of your problems.

Nope. Now you have a Walking Dead situation as well as a 'The Introvert is about to lose it because she's had to deal with too many people today and they're all sick, overworked and on edge so best stay out of her way' situation and trust me . . . that's MUCH worse.

So. World. Stay home. Stay Safe. Wash your hands.

This has been my TED talk.

I Want YOU to Become a Hermit Today

Come closer, friends, and let me whisper into your ear the secret to eternal life . . . "Be a Hermit."

"But . . . but . . . social interaction! Friends and family!" I hear you cry.

True. True. Sacrifices will need to be made. But! Think of all we will gain! No more awkward encounters with Tom, your neighbor from down the street who you've caught multiple times stealing the magic beans from your garden to feed his pregnant wife. No more tense situations between man and beast with beast demanding your daughter as payment for a stolen rose. No more getting tricked into being trampled to your death with your son watching on!

Okay . . . okay . . . you got me. Technically all these are movie and/or fairy tale references, but . . . I mean . . . I'm not entirely wrong here now am I? As an accounting major, I can assure you that your odds of being murdered and/or magically transfigured, cursed or kidnapped all go down SIGNIFICANTLY if you simply never leave your house.

So, do the right thing. Become an agoraphobe today.

In all honesty though; I played Portal 2 again this week. Of all the fictional technology in that game, you know what the most coveted invention is for a tried and true introvert such as myself? CAROLINE. The woman whose entire being was literally downloaded onto, what I can only assume, was a single floppy-disk.

Sigh. One day, science. One day.

Until then, I SUPPOSE I will continue to leave the house. But ONLY because I like to eat . . . and play in the snow . . . and . . . well . . . if I'm being honest . . . go on adventures of the traveling nature . . . nothing that couldn't be accomplished by staying inside all day, I'm sure.

*PS* 

Long time, no update friends.

It's been awhile since I've felt that overwhelming itch to just sit down and WRITE. Who only knows what come out of my magically typing fingertips when the itch happens. It's always entertaining though, and helps me sort through the things I can't otherwise sort through. So! I'm expecting, or at least, hoping, to sit down and just WRITE at least once a week. Let's see what zany adventures we can find together.

For my more "serious" blog, check out "Where the Wandering Soul Whispers"

Until next time!