If You Give the World a Quarantine

You know, world, nearly two months ago I posted about the joys of becoming a hermit . . . I didn't think you'd take me so seriously.



So . . . you're in quarantine. That is unfortunate. Especially for all you looney extraverts out there.

You know what's especially ironic?

I'm not.

That's right. Me, Madison, Queen of Self-Isolation on the best of days is one of the only people in my apartment not currently living my best life in the warm embrace of my locked bedroom. Nope. I work at a hospital so I will be one of the last people to get locked up this time around and I have such strongly mixed feelings about that.

On the one hand . . . I'm still employed. Yay! On the other hand, I'm still employed. Boo.

So what shall we do about this sudden turn of events?

Well, if you would all kindly help a girl out and reread the last post, I think we can come to an understanding.

You see . . .

If You Give the World a Quarantine, the world will want to leave the house anyway. But if you let the world leave the house anyway, you will find yourself in the middle of a pandemic. And if you find yourself in the middle of a pandemic, the poor introverted hospital workers such as myself will suddenly have to work a LOT more hours to take care of the influx of sick and inflicted. And if the poor introverted workers such as myself, suddenly have to work a LOT more hours to take care of the influx of sick and inflicted, we are put at more risk of getting sick ourselves. And if we get sick ourselves the world won't have to worry about the quarantine anymore because that will be the least of your problems.

Nope. Now you have a Walking Dead situation as well as a 'The Introvert is about to lose it because she's had to deal with too many people today and they're all sick, overworked and on edge so best stay out of her way' situation and trust me . . . that's MUCH worse.

So. World. Stay home. Stay Safe. Wash your hands.

This has been my TED talk.