Killer Baby

Warning: The following baby picture is one of the cutest, funniest, most awesome baby pictures you will ever see. For legal reasons (if there are any), I feel obligated to post the website I got the picture off of. The website is a blog of the funniest baby pic's of all time. I highly suggest you visit it.

Click me!

"My momma may have brought me into this world . . .

but I'm gonna take you out o' it."

Guess what

I have two riddles for you this week. Enjoy! :)

I begin and end with the letter 'e'

Have eight letters, but only one letter within me.

What am I?

and,

I'm there in darkness, but not in alight,

Can be seen in the daytime, but I'm missing at night,

I'm there in the shadow's but not at night.

What am I?

acci-DENTAL (4)

ONce upon a time there was a happy-go-lucky girl named Penelope. (Pronounced Penny-lope.)

Penelope was a by-the-book sort of girl who never did anything that could be considered "life altering" without first consulting her parents and/ or her instructors. Unfortunately, this meant that she never did anything "life changing" because someone always had something negative to say about it.

Eventually, however, a big decision came into her life. It was finally time for Penelope to graduate from high school, leaving behind her easy life and forcing her to make the dreaded "career choice".

She asked all her teachers, all her leaders and both her parents. No one had any advise to give her. Instead, she was forced to make the decision all by herself.

Penelope carefully regarded all her choices, taking into account her experience level, talents, and interests in each career path examined. Finally, she made her decision. Penelope decided to become a dental assistant. Aka, a dental hygienist.

In the weeks before the start of her new job, Penelope carefully picked out her bright happy scrubs, specifically picking out the ones that would make little kids calm and helpful. She even practiced her own smile in front of the mirror.

Then, it was her very first day. Penelope showed up bright and early to open the dentists office. She set to work organizing and prioritizing the dentists appointments for the day.

After that was done, Penelope went to work cleaning the waiting room. Two hours later, Dr Johnny T. Appleseed showed up and began accepting his patients.

Penelope's job was to prep the patients. She was to brush, floss, scrub and whiten everyones teeth before the dentist came in. However, her favorite job was using the X-ray machine. For some reason, she was drawn to the ray gun looking machine. Unfortunately, Wednesdays and Thursdays were slow days for Dr. Appleseed, and only 2 X-rays were needed both days.

Well, life continued onward for Penelope. Every day, she'd get to work at the exact same time, making sure that everything was nice and orderly for when the doctor finally showed up. And every evening, after the elusive doctor left, she cleaned everything up and locked the doors. Penelope liked this system.

That was, until one day, when she found out what the elusive Dr Johnny Appleseed was REALLY up to. Then, everything changed.

We'll, it's intermission folks. Please enjoy a trip to your nearest snack bar. This story will return as soon as you scroll down. :)

Well we're back. When we last left Penelope (still pronounced Penny-lope), she was just about to discover Dr. Johnny Appleseeds deepest darkest secret. Let's see what happens next shall we???

One day, Dr. Appleseed left the office early. Quickly telling Penelope to lock up early. He claimed that he was going to see his sick mother in the hospital. As he rushed out the double doors, Penelope called and rearranged several appointments that the good doctor had just cancelled and then went into the back rooms to clean up. As she was stashing some of the equipment back into the proper cupboards, she found a strange jar that she had never seen before. She opened the jar and was shocked to find a storage of teeth inside. She stared at the sparkling white mound of teeth and tried to make sense of it all. Why on earth was the doctor hoarding teeth?

Penelope pulled out her cell phone and dialed the doctor. He answered on the first ring.

"What is it Penelope? I'm kinda busy here."

"Well, Doctor, I don't mean to bother you, but I just discovered a jar of teeth here and . . . " But Penelope was cut off by the sound of someone slamming on their breaks on the other end.

"Don't do anything. I'll be right there." Yelled the doctor, hanging up.

Penelope stared at her phone, slowly making her way back to the front desk. Within a matter of minutes, she heard the doctor come screeching to a halt in front of the office. Then, he was standing over her with an unreadable look on his face.

"Where are they?" He demanded.

Penelope wordlessly handed him the jar. The doctor took it and cradled it to his chest. "I'm sorry." He said. "I should explain this to you."

Penelope just nodded.

"Well, it's like this. You see, my finance's business has been down lately. You see, people just don't want to believe in 'mythological' creatures like the tooth fairy anymore. But she's got to collect teeth. Her people use them. They need them like we need food. They use them for everything! When we got engaged, she asked that I help her collect some teeth for her. Because I'm a dentist, I of course agreed. If I tell people that they need a few teeth pulled, they usually believe me. But you can't tell anyone Penelope. Not a single soul. My girlfriend knows where you live Penelope. Don't forget that. Now, how about you go home and I'll lock up today." Said the doctor. Penelope nodded absently and dazedly made her way out to her car. She took the long way home and went to bed early.

The next morning when she woke up, she found this under her pillow:

Needless to say, she became quite paranoid after this. Penelope eventually became quite insane.

New riddle

We all know what this means! It's the second installment of "the riddle of the week". So, here you go. This one is a lot tricker than last weeks, but the answer is possible. Good luck!

Around the corner there is a tree.

Under the tree there is a school.

In the school there is a desk.

Behind the desk there is a bell.

Behind the desk is a teacher.

What is her name?

Magical word of Spring Break

Well, I guess it's time to say Au Revior to the wonderful week of spring break. It was nice while it lasted. And I did have a pretty wild time. Let's go over some of the key moments of MY spring break:

I found my Easter Basket.

Watched confrence.

Visited and got beat up by my little cousins.

Got in an accident.

Went to Quizno's.

Babysat two times.

Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakual and Monster vs. Aliens.

Stayed up and slept in.

Cleaned my room.

Didn't stress about school.

Got a new fan.

Updated my blog.

Created the new "Riddle of the Week" thingy.

Ate lots of junkfood.

And for my grand finale, I also got some flu symptoms.

That's all for my spring break, how was yours?

Literally. . .

For all those who take things way too literally . . . this is for you.

New Things!

I'm initiating a new thing here on the "Amazing Blog of Bloginess". It's called, riddle of the week. And, for all you people out there who are just having a brain dead day, basically what's going to happen is, once a week, I'm going to post a new riddle. Your job is to figure it out and tell me the answer. Maybe, if it starts to catch on, then I'll start doing prizes or something. I'm not entirely sure yet. Anyways, every time you see this pic:

You'll know that it's that time of week again. So, here we go, your very first riddle:

I'm the beginning of eternity,

the end of space and time,

the beginning of the end,

The end of every rhyme.

What am I?

Good luck!

Calling all soon to be Seniors.

Hey everyone, it's Friday. Which is . . . you know . . . sad. After all, it is the end of Spring Break.

However, on a happier note, PGHS is FINALLY getting a new website. Here's the link, you should defiantly check it out. It's a lot more snazzy than our current one. Click me! Sadly though, it seems that all us soon to be seniors won't have anything to our name. I mean, think about it. Since we came to the high school, they've changed our website, gotten rid of the trailers, added the addition, and changed everything to the stupid skyward junk. Isn't that just crazy? What can we really call our own? They even rearranged the library for crying out loud!!! We need to stake a claim on something, and soon! So rally together my fellow classmates of 2011, and lets fight this!

The Spring Breaker (3)

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful brunette girl that looked a lot like this:

She was a happy young lady who enjoyed life to it's fullest. Our story begins with her talking to a news reporter just outside of her suburban home.

Reporter: "So, it's spring break. Do you have anything to say to our viewers?"

Young Woman: "Yeah. It's spring break. Come back next week."

And that's all the reporter got before the girl slammed the door in his face.

THE END!

The moral of the story is, it's spring break. Go enjoy it for crying out loud!

Happy April Fool's day!!!

Happy April Fools day everyone!

In honor of this prankster lovin' holiday, I found this website that has the top 100 April Fools Pranks of all time. Below are 5 of the ones that I've read so far. #7 is particularly funny, but to see more, you have to check out the website as listed below. :)

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/P10/

#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

1957: The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

#4: The Taco Liberty Bell

1996: The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

*This next one is probably my all time fav. I think we should do this one sometime.

#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi

1998: The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Boslough.

#8: The Left-Handed Whopper

1998: Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

#10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity

1976: The British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

#15: Metric Time

1975:

Australia's This Day Tonight news program revealed that the country would soon be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays. The report included an interview with Deputy Premier Des Corcoran who praised the new time system. The Adelaide townhall was even shown sporting a new 10-hour metric clock face. The thumbnail (found at TelevisionAU.com) shows TDT Adelaide reporter Nigel Starck posing with a smaller metric clock. TDT received numerous calls from viewers who fell for the hoax. One frustrated viewer wanted to know how he could convert his newly purchased digital clock to metric time.

Happy April Fools!!!