Apologies and Explanations

Hi World.  Today's post is going to be a little different then usual.  And here's why.

Usually, when I post things on my blog they are things that have happened to me.  Generally these things are hilarious or I have the ability to portray them as funny, but today is a little different.

There are some people out there that seem to have a misrepresentation of me and my personality.  Granted, I am not the most open person and as a result some people get easily offended by actions that were never meant to come off the way they evidentially do.  Due to things that have happened in my past, I'm even more closed off to family members than I am to friends and strangers.  As a result, my actions seem to have a particularly harmful appearance.  So today, instead of posting something funny, I'm posting something serious and something that evidentially needs to be addressed.

My relationship with my family, particularly my extended family has been a rocky one for quite some time.  I don't share feelings or emotions (I laughingly condemn emotions.  I do think they are stupid) as well as most people can and as a result there seems to be a misconception that they can't talk to me without hurting my feelings.  This isn't true, I just can't seem to communicate with my family.  There is a wall that was built there years ago to protect myself and while I would like to think that wall has crumbled a little over time, it apparently has not lost its strength.  So to any of my family members who feel like I don't care, I do, you just need to accept my way of showing emotions and accept the fact that telling me that I need to change my personality is not a good way to repair whatever damage has been done.

I am an introvert.  I am more comfortable with myself than with others.  It's the way that I've been for quite some time and it's a little too late to change that.  I can force myself to be an extrovert, especially when I make the decision to, but you all need to accept the fact that I am what I am and it's probably not going to change just because you want it to.

Today was a hard day.  I was told by two people that I need to change the way I act.  As a result of that, the lack of sleep I've been getting and years of emotional baggage, everything just came spilling out and I spent a good part of the day crying my eyes out.  (It was not pretty and my eyes literally do feel like I have cried them right out).  After the tears had more or less subsided, I went online and tried to drown my sorrows in the internet.  I was on youtube and I found this video that fits just so perfectly with the way I am feeling.  As you watch this video please try to apply it to me.  I am not one to share my emotions.  I don't care for PDA.  But I am a happy person at heart and if you can't see that it's too bad for you.  I have off days like everyone else but I have been trying for the past few months to see the good in everything and to be told that I can't . . . that I appear not to have any love or joy or happiness in my life at all was particularly damaging.

At any rate, I apologize to those who have felt like I have wronged them in some way.  And I'm almost sorry for this rant, but it appears as though it needed to be said.

Thanks for bearing with me, and here is the video.  I hope this helps explain my personality because this is how I am almost to the T.





And yes.  There was humor in that . . . we can't have a post that's ALL emotions after all.  I have a reputation to uphold . . . I really just don't like emotions.

Posting Fail

Hello Blogisphere.  As you can see . . . I have failed once again.

And this time I don't even kind of have an excuse for it.

It's terrible.

However, this week has been rather productive.  I painted a bathroom, started doing hardcore chores around the house again, have been steadily applying for jobs, went on an insane shopping trip with my mom to find her church clothes (this is hard to do because she visualizes what she wants and then gets irritated that no one has this imagined masterpiece of an outfit.  Also, she's been really into hippie skirts and I just can't allow that now can I?)

At any rate, I have been busy so I don't feel so bad about lying to the internet.  But then again, I lie to the internet all the time.  For example; "I will get off the internet after I check Facebook. . . it'll take like five minutes."  And then the next thing I know, it's six hours later and I've wasted another day of my life.

Ah well.  I'm only young once.  Right?

Well.  Keep on keepin' on Blogisphere.  I will be back . . . eventually.

Summer Chaos

Hello Blogisphere.  Sorry it's been so long.  But I have fantastic news.  I did not die over finals week.  Although I did come close.  But that's another story.

I'm posting today because quite frankly, one of my goals this year is to post at least once a week and this week I obviously failed.  But I failed for a good cause.

Kinda.

I decided after getting home and having to reinsert myself into an oligarchy that I needed a little R&R before the summer from '39 begins.

You may be asking, "What does this mean?  Summer from '39?"  Well . . . I will tell you . . .

In the 1930's two very important things happened in United States History.  1) We had the Great Depression and 2) In 1939 we entered WWI.

While the war was very very unfortunate, there was one good side effect in that the war and war efforts reduced unemployment to around 0% and managed to boost our economy back into its more or less "natural flow".

Understandably, everyone in the US was quite busy that year.  Especially since everyone was working everyday either as a solider or in factories and such.

That is what I mean by the summer from '39.

My summer is going to be insane this year.  Especially if everything works out.  For one thing, I am hoping for at least two jobs.  One because I have bills and debt to pay and the other is because I desperately need a car if I am ever to return to Snow College.  Why?

I CAN'T GET STRANDED IN EPHRAIM.  EVER.

If all goes according to plan, I will be sticking a sizable sum into savings as well.

On top of the job hunt, I'm also taking some online college classes over the summer.  If all goes according to plan there, I will be graduating with my associates this December.  One whole semester ahead of schedule (and just in time to cheat graduation once again. :)

At any rate, that's why I haven't posted all week.  Unfortunately for all you subscribers out there, (or should I say, LUCKY for you), my epic week of R&R is over.  Tomorrow the horrors begin.  Let's just hope I'm up for them.

Doomsday 2012

Well.  I guess the Mayans were right when they "predicted" that the world would "end" in "2012".  Over the next three days, my world just may end.  Between my Micro final on the in depth and elaborate world of DNA replication and my Pre-Cal final, the world as I know it is quickly coming to an brutal and untimely end.

On the bright side, as soon as I am done with those two finals I have one more walk-in-the-park-of-a-final and then I get to go homewards to Pleasant Grove.  Granted, summer classes start about four days later, but they are all online and will all be far more easier than what I'm dealing with now.  Pre-Cal, you suck.

On the even better side, my finals schedule worked out far better this semester than it did last semester.  You see, last semester I have an entire weeks worth of finals.  Math, Psychology, History and BMGT 1080.  Every single one of my finals was at 9:30 in the AM except my last one which wasn't until noon on Friday.  Noon!!!!  I was furious.

This semester however, all my finals are at noon except my last one which is on Thursday at 9:30 in the AM.  Sometimes, I really do love life.

At any rate, as the clock counts down the minutes to my Micro final, all I can do is think about how awesome life will be getting over the next few days.

Here I come Summer!