WARNING - This blog may cause uncontrollable fits of laughter. If you are a naturally grumpy person, prone to attacks of severe pessimism, this blog is not recommended for you.

Friday, April 16, 2010

acci-DENTAL (4)

ONce upon a time there was a happy-go-lucky girl named Penelope. (Pronounced Penny-lope.)

Penelope was a by-the-book sort of girl who never did anything that could be considered "life altering" without first consulting her parents and/ or her instructors. Unfortunately, this meant that she never did anything "life changing" because someone always had something negative to say about it.

Eventually, however, a big decision came into her life. It was finally time for Penelope to graduate from high school, leaving behind her easy life and forcing her to make the dreaded "career choice".

She asked all her teachers, all her leaders and both her parents. No one had any advise to give her. Instead, she was forced to make the decision all by herself.

Penelope carefully regarded all her choices, taking into account her experience level, talents, and interests in each career path examined. Finally, she made her decision. Penelope decided to become a dental assistant. Aka, a dental hygienist.

In the weeks before the start of her new job, Penelope carefully picked out her bright happy scrubs, specifically picking out the ones that would make little kids calm and helpful. She even practiced her own smile in front of the mirror.

Then, it was her very first day. Penelope showed up bright and early to open the dentists office. She set to work organizing and prioritizing the dentists appointments for the day.

After that was done, Penelope went to work cleaning the waiting room. Two hours later, Dr Johnny T. Appleseed showed up and began accepting his patients.



Penelope's job was to prep the patients. She was to brush, floss, scrub and whiten everyones teeth before the dentist came in. However, her favorite job was using the X-ray machine. For some reason, she was drawn to the ray gun looking machine. Unfortunately, Wednesdays and Thursdays were slow days for Dr. Appleseed, and only 2 X-rays were needed both days.

Well, life continued onward for Penelope. Every day, she'd get to work at the exact same time, making sure that everything was nice and orderly for when the doctor finally showed up. And every evening, after the elusive doctor left, she cleaned everything up and locked the doors. Penelope liked this system.

That was, until one day, when she found out what the elusive Dr Johnny Appleseed was REALLY up to. Then, everything changed.




We'll, it's intermission folks. Please enjoy a trip to your nearest snack bar. This story will return as soon as you scroll down. :)


Well we're back. When we last left Penelope (still pronounced Penny-lope), she was just about to discover Dr. Johnny Appleseeds deepest darkest secret. Let's see what happens next shall we???


One day, Dr. Appleseed left the office early. Quickly telling Penelope to lock up early. He claimed that he was going to see his sick mother in the hospital. As he rushed out the double doors, Penelope called and rearranged several appointments that the good doctor had just cancelled and then went into the back rooms to clean up. As she was stashing some of the equipment back into the proper cupboards, she found a strange jar that she had never seen before. She opened the jar and was shocked to find a storage of teeth inside. She stared at the sparkling white mound of teeth and tried to make sense of it all. Why on earth was the doctor hoarding teeth?

Penelope pulled out her cell phone and dialed the doctor. He answered on the first ring.

"What is it Penelope? I'm kinda busy here."

"Well, Doctor, I don't mean to bother you, but I just discovered a jar of teeth here and . . . " But Penelope was cut off by the sound of someone slamming on their breaks on the other end.

"Don't do anything. I'll be right there." Yelled the doctor, hanging up.

Penelope stared at her phone, slowly making her way back to the front desk. Within a matter of minutes, she heard the doctor come screeching to a halt in front of the office. Then, he was standing over her with an unreadable look on his face.

"Where are they?" He demanded.

Penelope wordlessly handed him the jar. The doctor took it and cradled it to his chest. "I'm sorry." He said. "I should explain this to you."

Penelope just nodded.

"Well, it's like this. You see, my finance's business has been down lately. You see, people just don't want to believe in 'mythological' creatures like the tooth fairy anymore. But she's got to collect teeth. Her people use them. They need them like we need food. They use them for everything! When we got engaged, she asked that I help her collect some teeth for her. Because I'm a dentist, I of course agreed. If I tell people that they need a few teeth pulled, they usually believe me. But you can't tell anyone Penelope. Not a single soul. My girlfriend knows where you live Penelope. Don't forget that. Now, how about you go home and I'll lock up today." Said the doctor. Penelope nodded absently and dazedly made her way out to her car. She took the long way home and went to bed early.

The next morning when she woke up, she found this under her pillow:



Needless to say, she became quite paranoid after this. Penelope eventually became quite insane.



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