"Oh how I sit in this tower all day and waste away!" Princess Hazel cried with her hillbilly accent. "Is there no one to rescue such a beautiful damsel as I?" But no one really wanted to rescue her. Although she was the fabled "damsel in distress" she was also a bit of a redneck and wanted to settle down next door to her mother in one of the small trailer parks in the area. Needless to say, not many young men were that ambitious.
Well, as the years passed, Princess Hazel began to feel a sense of abandonment. Even her dear old mother left town. Perhaps it had something to do with the constant whining that came from the tower day in and day out. Or, perhaps it had something to do with the dilution the princess had that she could carry a tune. Whatever it was, Mansfield quickly became a desolate place.
And so, Princess Hazel remained locked in her tower. Waiting for a dashing young prince, (although as time went on, she realized she would settle for anyone good looking), until one day, 49 years after being locked up in the tower, she realized that if anyone was going to help her escape, it would have to be her. She picked up one of her high heels and hit the lock on the door until it finally broke.
She rushed down the 332 stairs and ran outside, just in time to see the sun set. She smiled blissfully at the beauty of it, and then grudgingly turned around and climbed back up the steps, knowing full well that she couldn't be outside at night.
The next morning, Princess Hazel walked down the stairs and left the small town of Mansfield Pennsylvania and hitchhiked all the way to San Francisco where she met a nice young man. They got married and had 2 beautiful children. And they lived happily ever after.
FIN
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