The Worst Fortune Ever

A terrible fate has befallen me. On Friday, during lunch, our school served egg-rolls, fortune cookies, and fried rice. As always, I did not eat, but my friend, Mary, offered my a fortune cookie. When I opened it, the following horrible fortune awaited:

You constantly struggle for self improvement

~ And it shows.

Although it's not the worst cookie ever recorded, (No, that one said: "Physic's will lead dogs to your body".) it's still a terrible fortune. It's more of a misfortune.

To make matters worse, one of my very good friends, Jessica Nelson, *chorkled when I showed her it. Way to by supportive Jess.

For those of you who don't know what the word "chorkled" means, it's a type of laugh that occurs when you mix chortled and chuckled. So, as you can see, it was even more unsupportive.

*Special thanks to Mary The Sperry for coming up with the most random word of the day: "Chorkled".

The Best Show YOU'LL Ever See

I'm a web surfer. I love the internet. I love watching things on the internet. It's one of my past times. In fact, that's basically all I do when I can. Basically, I'm . . . addicted to the internet.

Well, one day, while I was in the act, I stumbled across a HILARIOUS show. "Dr. Horrible's sing along blog. It is seriously the funniest thing I've seen in awhile. So, my advice is to buy it on iTunes. It takes about 45 minutes for the whole thing, but it's pretty much worth it. :) And below is a picture of the cast. Notice that the guy from the new murder mystery show "Castle" is in it. I believe his name is Nathan Fillon or something like that. He plays "Captain Hammer" The all American arrogant hero.

Here's the great thing though, Joss Whedon, (the director/ writer/ lots of other things) has decided to make a sequel that is currently in the works! I'm so excited! It's going to be absolutely fantastic!

Choose YOUR adventure

Right now in English, my teacher, Mrs. Robertson, has decided to let flow our creative juices.  To do this, she's decided to have us write a "Create Your Own Adventure" book.  It's not going to be very long of course, but I decided to give this blog a little pizazz.  And what better way to do that than to add my story to this blog?  So, this is how it's going to work.  Every now and again I will add a new situation giving it a designated number.  You will read it and then wait for the following number to come up.  Until that number comes up, you are not allowed to make any other new choices.  Once your designated number comes up you will then proceed to read that particular entry and choose. . . (are you ready for this?). . . your own adventure.  :)  I know your just all so excited so. . . this is just the rough draft, but here's the beginning:

It's Halloween night.  You were just dared to go into your neighborhoods haunted house.  You know for a fact that someone. . . or something lives in the house, but you're not sure exactly what.  Although you've had an irrational fear of haunted houses for as long as you can remember, you have no choice enter the terrifying house.  As you near the door, it slowly swings open by itself, emitting a horrible creaking sound as it does so.  You take one last look at your friend, standing in the safety of the street, and then you step inside, allowing the blackness to swallow you up.

(Please turn to the Blog Entry titled "Number One")

Now, you would turn to blog entry titled number one and read from there.  I hope you enjoy your experience and please feel free to critic my word choice or sentence structure.  I really need input on this because it is going to be an actual assignment worth actual points and as Mary very well knows, I can use all the criticism I can get.

Number Twelve

You begin to ride your bikes home when suddenly, a bus comes out of the middle of nowhere.  It strikes you and your friend, killing you instantly.  When you come to your senses, you realize that your a little transparent and attending your own funeral.  Considering yourself a freak, you return to the haunted house, bent on haunting your dying place and scaring away all those that dared enter the house before it was too late.

For reasons you don't understand, your friend somehow managed to pass on to the afterlife, you suppose it has something to do with the strange air you breathed while inside the house when you were alive.

Number Eleven

You ride your bikes home.  You and your friend spend the night at your house, bingeing on all that trick or treating candy and then go to sleep watching "Count Dracula".  You can't help but feel that after all you've been through, the movie's just a little cheesy.  You manage to laugh yourself to sleep while your friend nearly wets the bed.  The next morning, your friend goes home and your horrible experience in the towns haunted house becomes a distant thing of the past.

Number Ten

You and your friend ride your bikes home.  You are all too happy to be out of that creepy house, and your friend is just happy not to have been dared to do something worse.  You get home safely and fall asleep.  The next morning, you grab the morning paper, trying to find the Sunday Comics.  You notice the first page of the paper and freeze.  "Haunted House Lets Loose Horror On Unsuspecting Town"  read the title.  You gulp as you realize that you never locked the door behind you as you left the haunted house last night.

Wait to go genius, you just let loose a horde of monsters on the world.  That's going to look great on a resume.

Number Nine

That all powerful fight or flight instinct kicks in, but you've never been one for violence.  You let yourself fall limp in the monsters arms which is all it needed.  It drags you down to its basement lair and prepares for its evening meal. . . of which, you are the main dish.

I'm sorry, you managed to get yourself killed.  Just wait till your mother hears about this.

Number Eight

The fight or flight instinct kicks in big time and you decide to put a little of that tie kwan doe training into practice.  You elbow the monster's hairy chest and they drop you like a sack of potatoes, you roll under its massive legs and then plant your feet on its backside.  You push with all your might, and topple it to the ground.  You grab a broomstick that you see lying nearby and bring it down on the cretins head.  You hear a ghastly cracking noise and once again everything is still.  You cheek to make sure the thing is still breathing and then you keep going.  You see the moonlight streaming in from a window just ahead and you follow it.  You reach what looks like a kitchen and try the back door.  It won't open.  You notice it's been padlocked and begin looking around  for a key.  You look under the mat and find it there.  You think it's a little weird that someone would hide a key one the inside of a house, but you slip it into the lock and turn it.  A loud click sounds throughout the house and you let out a sigh of relief when nothing seems to have stirred.  You open the door and let yourself out, closing the door behind you.  You race to the front of the house and high five your friend.  

To pick ending #1 turn to the blog entry titled "Number 10"

To pick ending #2 turn to the blog entry titled "Number 11"

To pick ending #3 turn to the blog entry titled "Number 12"

Number Seven

You are about to open the door that has a light on behind it, but you think you see a shadow moving from under the door.  Afraid of what may be lurking behind door number one, you pick door number two.  You open the door and step inside.  The moonlight is streaming through the broken window directly in front of you.  You notice all the guano on the floor and look up to see bats lining the ceiling.  You move quietly, praying that you won't wake them up when you slip on some more recent guano.  You fall to the floor, covering yourself in even more guano.  The bats begin shrieking like a wounded cat, as they begin waking up.  You cover your face with your hands as they fly right at you.  You receive a few pecks, and then they fly away into the night.  Your heart is thudding violently at this most recent encounter, but you have no choice but to get up and try to get away.  You walk to the window and look outside.  You are surprised to see that your friend is still out there.  You wave at him and he looks surprised to see you.  Then, violent spasms roll through your body.  You fall to the ground and watch as your hands grow pale in the moon light and fangs grow inside your mouth.  Once the pain stops you stand up and try to give the thumbs up signal to your friend.  He goes ghostly pale and backs away, running down the road.  Your new sense of smell sniffs the warm scent of flesh blood and you turn into a bat and fly out the window after your friend.  

I'm sorry, you have become a vampire.  But really, when has going up the stairs ever been a good way to get out of a house?  Maybe if you'd been a little brighter you'd still be human.

         

Number Six

Figuring that you have nothing to lose at this point, you decide to see if you can find someone.  You figure that someone is bound to be willing to help you get out of their spooky house so you make your way towards the door with the light.  Always the one with manners, you knock before slowly turning the doorknob and entering the illuminated bedroom.  You gasp in shock at the sight before you.  An actual witch was stirring a boiling cauldron over an open fire.  Her ugly green and warty face looks up at your gasp and smiles pleasantly.  "Hello dearie."  She cackles, dropping her giant spoon and moving towards you.  You are too scared to move as she gets nearer and nearer.  One thought keeps flashing through your head: "I have a bad feeling about this."  The witch smiles, reveling rows of horrible dental hygiene.  "My, you are a big one.  I haven't had anyone come here since that horrible accident with that Hansel and Gretal.  My sister never had a talent with kids.  Lucky for you, I do."  She said, breathing liver flavored breath in your face.  She leads you over to her cauldron and pushes your head over it.  You are forced to breath in her potent potion and the various smells cause you to black out.  Then, she turns you into a toad and locks you up in her cupboard.  Sorry.  You can't go home like that, (what would your mother say???), and you are most likely going to be cooked for supper tomorrow.