Jurassic Manor Part 2

Finally!  The Long Anticipated Part 2 is up and running!  Aren't you all just so excited?

Regretfully, this post is not as climatic as the last.  But never fear.  A special guest star pops up in this;

THE SECOND HALF OF MY JURASSIC PARK DREAM.

Let us begin.


When we left off, our hero (namely me) was hiding behind glass cases as a T-Rex stared into it.  No doubt this part of my dream comes directly from the one scene of the real Jurassic Park that I've actually seen.  (Shown below).

At any rate, this scene happens in my dream.

I'm hiding behind glass cases and a T-Rex leans down and peers through them, seeming to stare into my very soul.  Yes, yes.  I know.  Glass cases aren't exactly "the best" hiding place in the world.  But keep in mind that I'm in some kind of gigantic manor house, surrounded by the crashing waves of some beautiful looking ocean that I can't find it in myself to swim through.  And so I hid.  I hid behind these woefully inadequate glass cases and prayed.  All-the-while knowing that the beast gazing in at me with its eye of death could smell the fear burning brightly in my chest and was preparing for the kill.

Then suddenly, and without warning, I find myself being sucked through a deep, dark, abyss-of-a-hole and into the lobby of the Manor House and far, far away from the killer Tyrannosaurus Rex.


Now this is the part of the story where everything gets thrown out the window.  I'm not sure what happens to me from this point forwards.  The last thing I remember is me, running for my life through the lobby as a few Velociraptors have gotten loose and are chasing everyone down.  (Luckily that old adage is true (If you are being chased by a bear you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun your friend.)) and I find myself more or less safe because I'm always the most athletic person in the room in my dreams.  Unfortunately, from here, my story is lost to time and the remainder of my dream is focused on our mysterious guest and her wonderfully random antics.

Meet Aubrey Hepburn.  The heroine of the remainder of my bizarro dream.

After losing sight of myself in the manor, my dream perspective shifts to the front of the house.  I can only assume that the Doctor Who phrase; "It's bigger on the inside" rings true in this case, because I don't see how else you could fit an entire world within this average sized manor house.

It is exactly at this point in time, as I'm contemplating Doctor Who within my dream, that I see something rather unexpected.  A car, that looks an awful lot like a large toy car, crashes through the front of the house and squeals away towards the freeway, ignoring all the panicked pedestrians as it plows through anything that gets in its way.  Moments later, a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex plows through the remainder of the front of the Manor House, once again bringing the question to mind; "How did they fit an entire world into such a small space?"

However, my mind can only focus on this question for a moment before it's focused on the high speed pursuit occurring between the compact car and the gargantuan dinosaur.

The compact red car makes for the freeway with everything its got.  It's speed is only barley enough to keep the car from being squashed under the massive feet of the giant lizard desperately trying to kill it dead.

My point of view now transitions to the front of the car.  It is here that I see who has been madly driving the vehicle around the twists and turns of the freeway.  It's none other than Audrey Hepburn herself.  Beloved actress of the mid-to-late 1900's.

Miss. Hepburn is desperately driving, both hands on the wheel, speeding away from this deadly beast that seems oddly single minded in its pursuit of our heroine.  And thus the chase continues.

Forever and ever it would seem as it is from this point that our story ends.  I wake up.  Life continues.  Reality sets in.  And you shake your fist at the computer after reading such an anti-climatic story.



I guess it's only fair that I post this story on April Fools day since it seems like such a joke.  But it wasn't my good people.  This is the dream I dreamed as far as I can remember it.  Enjoy the rest of your prankster day.  I will see you again real soon.

Jurassic Manor Part One

Let me start off today's post by saying this; I have REALLY weird dreams.  I don't know what my subconscious is up to at night, but clearly it likes to get drunk somehow and then have a wild party because why else would I dream about things like Darth Vader wrapping himself up in Saran Wrap and then blasting himself off into space via a School Bus shaped like a rocket or finding myself being through into a different dimension where I was suddenly extremely personable, didn't mind dating, and ultimately ended up becoming queen of said new world?

That being said, I recently had a dream to end all other dreams on a scale of randomness.  And I'm going to share it with all of you.

For the past few weeks, I haven't remembered any of my dreams.  I've been so stressed that when I fall asleep at night, I'm completely unconscious for however long I sleep.  When I wake up, I know I've been dreaming, I just can't remember any of them.  Which is really sad for me because, well, my dreams are pretty hilarious and/or awesome when I can remember them.

Anyway- I've been feeling really sad about this.  I love pondering my psycho dreams on a more philosophical level and you can't do that if you can't remember them.  But then this dream happened and it is just to ridiculous not to share.

So here we go.

The setting is some kind of restaurant in the underbelly of this giant manor house me and my companions (we'll get to who's who in a minute) find ourselves at.  As in all dreams of mine, there is a certain amount of things that just don't work in the real world but make total sense while I'm dreaming.  The fact that this restaurant and basically an entire county can fit in this manor house.

But moving on.

My companions and I find ourselves in a restaurant (again- in the seedy underbelly of the manor house).  I am, for no reason I can tell, pretending to be blind.  I'm very good at it.  We order non-alcholic drinks and sit down and wait.  When our drinks are delivered (I didn't order one), two of my companions start scarfing theirs down and then begin to feel odd.  I, being the good friend that I am, check the list of ingredients that just happen to be on label and discover that Sugar is the main ingredient.

Now normally this fact wouldn't be problematic.  This is actually one of the few facts that coincide with a real life fact, but in the Manor House world we lived in, none of us ate/drank sugar.  It was not allowed because it seemed to cause the same kind of side effects that drugs would.

Upon revealing this fact to my companions, they immediately stopped drinking their soda's.  Unfortunately, this fact did not go unnoticed by our server who was trying to drug us on sugar.  He came over and asked what was the problem.  My companions made up some ridiculous excuses which he nodded at despite not looking very convinced.  I was still acting blind.

The Server then proceeded to begin walking down the stairs just to my right.  He paused partway down and reached towards me as if he was going to poke my eye out.  Of course I flinched (wouldn't you?) and immediately everything around us froze.  "Finally."  he said menacingly.  "I knew it was you."  (I don't know why I was hiding from people or why I felt being a blind person would be the best disguise but my cover was blown now.)  "Well," he continued, "I don't suppose it matters now.  We only have until 10:57 and then we're all dead anyway."  And with that ambiguous statement with its random time limit, he left.

My companions turned to me after he was gone.  I was already on my feet weaving through the tables and chairs in the restaurant.  "What's going on?" they called after me.

"We have to go now!"  I called back with a whole ton of urgency in my voice.  "We don't have much time!"

And with that, I took off running.  I won't lie, I was in AMAZING shape.  I was booking it faster than I've ever booked it before and I was only just out of breath.

As we ran, my companions wanted to know why we seemed to be running for our lives.  I nodded at some of the plastic statues as we passed them.  "See these dinosaur statues?"  I said.  "I'm pretty sure that at 10:57 they're going to come to life and we need to be long gone before that happens."

Needless to say, my companions sped up as we raced through dense forest.  Everywhere I looked I could see giant statues that were going to come to life.  Some were less terrifying such as the giant cricket or the dead frog, but let's face it.  Even these, if big enough, could do some serious damage to human tissue so we ran.

We ran for what seemed like an eternity and then we reached the sea.  (Yes.  We are still in the Manor House because I remember thinking in my dream state; "Where is the exit to this stinking house?")  I knew we needed to get higher so that the T-Rex's around us (and there were tons) wouldn't be able to get us.  With that in mind, I took a flying leap up something that looked a lot like this;

And prayed for the best.  Unfortunately my flying leap literally sent me flying far above the tip of the rock and I became suddenly very concerned for my life.  Luckily one of my companions had jerry-rigged a mechanical pterodactyl and came flying to my rescue just in time.  I landed on the hard lizard and quickly looked down to see how my other companion was faring.  My other companion, who at the restaurant had been female through and through, had suddenly morphed into the grandpa from UP and was jerry-rigging another pterodactyl.  The companion who had saved me, and I landed our lizard and rushed to Grandpa UP.  "I'm gonna need more time."  He said somewhat frazzled.

"You don't have it."  I said, glancing up at a wall that had suddenly appeared and just happened to have a clock on it.  "By the looks of it, you have about two minutes."

Now this part is a little hazy.  I don't know if dreams can make adrenaline shoot through your body in real life, but if it's possible, mine was doing that at that moment because my heart rate seemed to increase and time seemed to stand still and yet those two minutes flew by because the next thing I knew, I was ordering everyone to hide.  The T-Rex's were waking.

And on that cliff-hanger of an ending, I leave you.  But don't worry.  Part Two will be out really soon.